It was a dark and stormy night

Scene: The palatial Potomac mansion of Redskins
owner Daniel Snyder.

The wee small hours of Sunday night. Redskins owner Daniel Snyder sits alone in his private office after his Redskins have just crushed the St. Louis Rams, 9-7. He has just finished watching the Giants win the inaugural game at the new $1.2 billion Dallas Cowboys stadium. As he looks out the french doors, he see the black Potomac River slinking down to the Chesapeake Bay. His view is unimpeded by any of those pesky trees that used to be there.

He is still visibly upset by the fans booing the Redskins after a win. He is even more upset that Jerry Jones has a newer, bigger, and far nicer stadium than his. And that the ungrateful fans are selling carloads of tickets on the secondary market.

He hears the faint sound of distant thunder.

Snyder: Funny, I don't recall any rain in the weather forecast.

Suddenly, there is a brilliant flash of lightning and an ear-shattering crash of thunder. The lights flicker briefly before the 100 gigawatt generator kicks in. Three men are in the room. One is a long, lean Texan drinking a cup of coffee.

The second is a large Italian looking man with a glass of red wine.

The third man looks familiar to Snyder. He is dapper, rather elderly man. He is sitting in Snyder's favorite chair. He is holding a martini glass in his right hand, and has an unbelievably beautiful young woman sitting in his lap. The young woman has a full glass of champagne in one hand.

Snyder: Who are you? What are you? What are you doing here?

Jack Kent Cooke: Why Daniel, how quickly you forgot our last meeting. I'm disappointed. Allow me to introduce my friends. The gentleman drinking coffee is Sammy Baugh, of course. (Baugh nods). The gentleman to my left is Vince Lombardi. (Lombardi also nods).

Snyder. That's nice, but does this have to do with me?

Cooke: Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. I'm so disappointed in you. We're the Immortals. We're the men who made the Washington Redskins great.

Lombardi: We're not all here yet, Jack. George Preston Marshall is having his wife re-write Hail to the Redskins. I think they're trying to find a word to rhyme with "mediocrity". And Edward Bennett Williams is looking for ways to keep the Supreme Court from ruling on the Redskins copyright.

But the reason we're here is because we are not happy with the state of the Redskins. Life in Valhalla is not much fun when we have to take abuse from the other Immortals. It's no fun getting a free cruise on the S.S. Raft of Grief from George Halas and Tom Landry. When Immortals get angry at you mortals, well, you can imagine the consequences. If you want a seat at the table with us, then you have to be willing to pay the price.

A fourth man enters the room. He has a dish of ice cream in one hand, and is licking the thumb of his free hand.

Lombardi: George, you're late! Dammit, George, if you were working for me, if you're not ten minutes early you'd be five minutes late!

Allen: Sorry, Vince. Man, this is great ice cream. Thanks, Danny.

Cooke: So there you have it. The greatest player, the greatest dead coach, and greatest might-have-been in the history of the Redskins.

Baugh: Greatest owner, too, Jack.

Cooke smiles, modestly.

Allen: See, Danny, the fans can overlook the miserable parking, that idiot Mark Kessler on the P.A., the horrible rap music with the volume on 12 and the so-called "jumbotron". It's the losing, Danny. It doesn't hurt enough.

Snyder: That's where you're wrong, George. It hurts me a lot to lose.

Allen: Does it feel like part of you dies inside? Not your lungs or kidneys, but something like your spleen or appendix? If it doesn't feel like that, then it doesn't hurt enough. Does it feel like someone just cut out your spleen with a spoon and a Swiss Army knife?

Snyder: Well, no, come to think of it.

Lombardi: You're not making the real effort to win. You keep Vinnie on the payroll and he's either not capable or not being allowed to make football decisions the way a GM should. Build the team from within like the Steelers or the Patriots. George and I were our own GMs, but Jack had the sense to hire guys like Bobby Beathard. This isn't fantasy football, it's the NFL. With a career record of 79-88, it's pretty obvious your methods aren't working.

Snyder: Vinnie's my guy. He can see me anytime. We work great together.

Lombardi: Quid violentius aure tyranni.

Snyder: What?!?

Lombardi: "It is dangerous to have the ear of tyrants". It's from Juvenal. (pause). Jesuit education.

There is another lightning flash and crash of thunder. The lights go out again. When they come on again, Snyder is waking up.

Snyder: Whoa, man. Gotta lay off that Redskins chile. That was a heckuva nightmare.

He see the empty glasses and ice cream dish and is startled.

Snyder: I wonder how those got there. Kids must have left them.

To be continued..........

Coming soon, more news from Redskins Park!

Be on the lookout. Coming soon to this blog.

Kodachrome to be discontinued

Yesterday Eastman Kodak announced that production of Kodachrome slide film will be discontinued after 74 plus years.

I can't say that I'll miss it.  I shot a couple of rolls of Kodachrome 200 in 2001.  The results were nice, but no better than I got from Fuji Sensia 100 or Kodak Elite Chrome.  In addition, finding processing for Kodachrome was always a pain and environmentally horrible.  More modern and environmentally friendly films rendered it obsolete years ago.

B&H is now charging $12 a roll for Kodachrome.  $5 for Sensia or EC.  The $7 delta covers the cost or processing and scanning at Penn Camera.  You do the math.

Selig Actions Stun Sports World!

Commissioner takes unprecedented actions against the Washington Nationals

New York (AP)

Major League Commissioner Bud Selig today took actions unprecedented in major North American professional sports by "invalidating" victories by the Washington Nationals over the New York Yankees on June 17th and 18th.

In a prepared statement, the Commissioner's Office noted that the Yankees were without the services of long-time star shortstop Derek Jeter, and additionally, had to endure a five hour, 37 minute rain delay.  "The fact that the Yankees had to play without Mr. Jeter, the most clutch player in the history of clutch, casts doubt on the validity of the Washington victories.  We all know that my actions, and those of Jeffrey Loria and Jim Bowden, have reduced the Nationals to a joke franchise.  Therefore, there is no way that the Nationals could have won the two games without some type of aid.  In this case, the absence of Mr. Jeter's intangibles were critical, and I have awarded the Yankees four intangible runs for each game. "

Invoking his Commissioner's powers to act in the "best interests of the game", Selig also stated that his decision was not subject to appeal.

Washington Nationals President Stan Kasten and Acting General Manager Mike Rizzo were stunned by the announcement.  In a brief news conference, Kasten stated "I have never heard of intangible runs in my life.  I mean, I respect Derek Jeter and all, but we did score more runs than the Yankees in those two games, and had to sit through the same rain delays.  Besides, we've been missing Jesus Flores for a month, and we need him as much as the Yankees need Jeter."  

Washington Nationals pitcher Craig Stammen was reported to be near tears after receiving official confirmation that his first major league victory would come off the books. "I can't believe it", he said "I won that game fair and square.  They couldn't touch me, I mean Texiera, A-Rod, Damon, none of them.  How can they do this to me?  I had a case for the game ball and everything.  It was going to be on my mantel for the rest of my life.  Now I have to do it all over again, get that first win."  When asked what he planned on doing with the ball, he smiled briefly and said "Stick it Selig's ear, I guess".

In a related development, New York's Congressional delegation has introduced bi-partisan legislation to retire the number 2 from the English language.  According to Rep. Peter King (R-NY), "Children will now count one, jeter, three, four, and so forth.  However, in order to not place undue Governmental burdens on the public, the words "to" and "too" will be allowed to remain in everyday use."

Three movies don't always add up to a trilogy

When is trilogy not really a trilogy?  

We're all accustomed to trilogies.  We like trilogies.  The Godfather.  Star Wars (one of them, that is).  Indiana Jones.  The list can could go on and on, I suppose, but trilogies usually have a strong series of connecting elements:  Same lead actors, connected story lines, a reasonably coherent beginning, middle and end.  It helps, as in the case of The Godfather, that the source material is so dense that Mario Puzo's novel could have been the basis for a a three movie deal, without bringing the story forward to contemporary times.

So why is John Ford's "Cavalry Trilogy" called a trilogy?  Beats me.  

The two common elements in the trio (Fort Apache (1948), She Wore a Yellow Ribbon (1949) and Rio Grande (1950)) are the presence of John Wayne and the "Ford Stock Company".  All are based on James Warner Bellah short stories and have a common technical advisor.  All three were shot in Monument Valley.  That's really about it.  

So, let's examine the trio in a little more detail.

In Fort Apache, Wayne doesn't get top billing on the screen - that goes to Henry Fonda, cunningly cast against type by Ford as a hard-driving martinet.  Shirley Temple plays Fonda's teen-age daughter. John Agar is cast as the freshly minted graduate of West Point, whose father, played by Ward Bond, is also the (un-named) Regiment's Sergeant Major.  That's part of a major plot point as Fonda, is, in addition to being a raving martinet is also an anti-Irish bigot.  That's no small sin to professional Irishman Ford.  Fonda, of course in fine military tradition, manages to both irritate the daylights out his men, and enrage the local Indians.

After Fonda gets most of his regiment killed off in a needless fight against the Apaches, Wayne takes over the Regiment.  Of course, Agar marries Temple, just like real life.  And everybody remembers Fonda character fondly, probably because he's dead.

Best line:  Fonda to Victor McLaglen at Ye Olde Crooked Indian Agent Trading Poste:  "Sergeant, pour me some Scripture".

In the second installment, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, Fonda stays dead, Wayne's name has changed from Captain Kirby York to Captain Nathan Brittles.  Temple is gone but Agar stays on and the lovely (and infinitely more talented) Joanne Dru, the pride of Logan, West Virginia takes over for Temple.  Dru had worked with Wayne in Red River, and they obviously enjoy working together.   Dru's brother, incidentally, was Peter Marshall of "Hollywood Squares."

A very young Ben Johnson makes his acting debut as Sergeant Tyree in this one, having been a stunt man in Fort Apache and signed to an acting contract by Ford for his work.  Harry Carey Jr, a long term member of the stock company has a featured role as Agar's rival for Dru's affections.  

As a movie, it's pretty close to vintage Ford.  The plot line centers around the usual elements, crooked Indian agents selling guns to the Indians, with some patented Fordian romantic touches like the former Confederate general (!) serving as a buck private in the Yankee Army.  Ford's touch with the wide angle lens never shows to better effect than a scene where the cavalry are walking the horses as a thunderstorm brews up.  Wayne is surprisingly effective playing a much older man.  I believe he nominated for an Oscar for this one.

A bit top-heavy climax wise, but still a good one.  Best line:  Wayne to Victor McLaglen: "The sun and the moon may change, but the Army knows no seasons."

 The last of the trio, Rio Grande, is probably the weakest.  Wayne is back to being Kirby Yorke, now a Lieutenant Colonel.  The filming is back to black and white.  Agar and Dru are gone, Johnson and Carey stay.  Maureen O'Hara is the Duke's main squeeze, and of course, the usual Indian problems drive the plot.  Claude Jarman, Jr.,  who made it big as a child star in The Yearling makes his adult debut as the Duke and Maureen's son.  Of course, Virginia belle O'Hara is a wee bit irked at the Duke for burning the family manse during "the late unpleasantness".  She forgives him anyway.  Nice going, Mo.  

Still, not a bad outing.  Ford made this one to free up the time and money for The Quiet Man, also starring Wayne and O'Hara.  But he didn't skimp on Rio Grande with a large budget, location shooting and a big name cast.

Best line:  There isn't one.

I'll be back with more on Westerns later.  

Williamsburg and the Bermuda Triangle

I apologize for taking so long to post these, but it just seem that time got away a little bit.  I may publish some more in the future. 

It was a great cruise, very relaxing, and Bermuda is highly recommended (especially the "Dark and Stormy").

Seven days in May

First day, Colonial Willamsburg

The silversmith shop, always a favorite.

The Colonial Capital:

Sunglasses and colonial hats.  Welcome to America!

Gardens, Governor's Mansion.

Shoe lasts.

U.S.S. Wisconsin from the Grandeur of the Seas

Three carriers.  Closest, CVN-77, George H. W. Bush, center, CVN-75, Harry S. Truman, furthest, CVN-71, Theodore Roosevelt

A good sign, don't you think?

Bermuda, old causeway (left) and Dockyard area.

Grandeur of the Seas from the Commissioner's House, Royal Dockyard.
Galapagos land tortoise, Bermuda

Demonstration firing of a 24-pounder carronade, Fort St. Catherine, Bermuda.

The main building, Royal Dockyard, Bermuda.  The clock tower on the left was called "the four-faced liar" by the workers, as all four clock faces showed a slightly different time.

Back to the past (Thanks, Netflix)

Great movies scenes part 1 (Musical numbers not from traditional musicals)

This week the random movie selection was The Girl Can't Help It.  Perhaps a better title would have been Little Richard, Fats Domino, Eddie Cochran, Jayne Mansfield and Julie London Couldn't Help This Turkey.  As a movie, it's pretty laughable even though it was filmed in Cinemascope and had old pros Edmond O'Brien and Tom Ewell.  In addition, Little Richard, Fats, etc., perform for the first time in a big screen, big budget movie.

So why am I bringing this up?  Part of the backstory is that washed up talent agent Ewell was at one time the agent for Julie London (played by, you guessed it, Julie London).  About a third of the way through the movie she sings Cry Me A River (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=141HmTUCfsg).  It's quite a tour de force. When I figure out how to embed videos, I update the post.  Anyway, the cover to the left might give you some idea of Ms London's considerable charms.  I think every boy in my age group was in love with her.

I saw this movie for the first time in my life this week, so my earliest recollection of seeing and hearing Ms London was in her role as pitch-woman for Marlboro cigarettes, before they went all cowboy.  Still remember the lyrics, too:

You get a lot to like with a Marlboro

Filter, flavor, flip top box

Sung with that slightly husky but charming voice, wearing an evening gown (and of course, smoking the sponsor's product), those commercials probably could have convinced Ralph Nader to take a few puffs.

Interestingly enough, although today she is remembered primarily as a singer (and for super model good looks), Julie started out as a straight dramatic actress.  It was her second husband, actor-songwriter Bobby Troup (composer of Route 66, among others) who started her singing career.  Somewhat underrated as a singer, she used to joke that the producers spent more time and money on the album art work than on the arrangements. 

Jule and Troup later teamed on the TV series Emergency!, which was produced by Julie's first husband, Jack Webb. (Guess he didn't carry any grudges.  More on Webb in a minute). For a later (and totally different) interpretation of Cry Me A River, look on this album.  

One of the pleasures of watching old moves is seeing future stars, or ones just breaking out, when they were young.  Years after Webb had become a big star (and very rich) from Dragnet, I saw him in The Halls of Montezuma (1950), a pretty good World War II actioner, with a slew of future big names including Richard Widmark, Karl Malden, Jack Palance, and Robert Wagner.

That's Webb on the right, with Richard Widmark.  Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, could give you the Icy Blue-eyed Glare of Pure Death (patent pending) like Widmark.  If the Navy could have sent Widmark to the South Pacific during the war, he might have glared the Japanese to death.  For good example, take a look at Widmark staring down Duke Wayne in The Alamo (1960). 

The last movie is related to the first, and to the theme of great musical numbers not in traditional musicals.  By traditional musicals, I mean the classic, song and dance movies like Oklahoma!, or My Fair Lady, or (blech) The Sound of Music.  After all, just because there's lots of music in the movie, it doesn't make a musical.  If that were the case American Graffiti would qualify, to name just one example.  So, the other nominee for the award is The Fabulous Baker Boys (1989) starring Jeff and Beau Bridges as piano-punching brothers.  Looking for a new singer, they luck into the young Michelle Pfieffer.  The closing credits feature a grand piano and a red dress sprayed onto Ms Pfieffer while she croons an old standard, Makin Whoopee. Here's an idea:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TULYBRHBAs.

I rest my case.